I am involved with many situations where the one thing I know, the one thing that I can offer is “Let’s talk to God about it.”  I find myself getting worked up.

• They are depending on me.
• I need to give an answer.
• What if I don’t answer quickly enough.
• What if the ‘wrong’ thing happens.
• And I know that I should pray.
• But then what? What is the next step?
• Because what if God doesn’t answer?
• And how soon should I expect something recognizable?
• And what do I do in the meantime?
• And am I the only one that feels a little awkward after amen?

You know that feeling. I know you do. Because you ask me about it. All the time.

Here’s one answer.

1. Tell God your requests. Everything. Don’t worry about it. Tell him. Stand next to the ocean and holler. Sit in your car and cry. Sit in your office and pretend to stare at your screen.
2. And everything means “e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.” Not just, “help me pass this exam.” but also “help me believe that you exist.” And “help me know what to say in this email (or post).”
3. And then, Paul says, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Notice he doesn’t say, “And instantly you will get a pony.” He says, “There will be peace guarding your thoughts and desires.”
4. And then, in the time you were using to worry, do something. Look for noble things and think about them. What a role model has taught you? Do it. (Paul’s got more here).
5. And the God of peace will be with you.

Paul’s not saying, “ask and then do whatever you want and if God doesn’t answer, he’s not there.” He says, “live differently.”

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Here’s a video version of today’s post: What comes after amen.

Here’s a piece I wrote about where to start in Following Jesus.

Char Binkley has been on the radio for 35 years. Five days a week, WBCL, a Christian radio station in Fort Wayne, has a program called Mid-Morning from 9-10. Most mornings for the past 35 years, Char’s been the host.

She’s retiring. Today is her last day.

From 1985 to 1991, I worked at the college that owned the station. I was hired to teach speech and to work with the minor in broadcasting. That minor had little to do with the station, but I did start to get to know Char.

Char wasn’t only the host of a program. She spent many of those years as the General Manager of the station. What has always impressed me about the station is that it is intensely local, intensely personal, intensely social.

Here’s how I know:

In 1989, Nancy and I had a daughter. She weighed less than 5 pounds. We didn’t know she’d be born alive or be able to come home so we weren’t prepared very well. We didn’t know anything about diapers that small. Somehow, Char did. She found preemie diapers. She kept us stocked for the five weeks Kate was alive.

I know she’s said lots of things, done lots of interviews, played a lot of music, done what radio does. I know that she’s helped lots of Christian authors sell books that I’m not sure I always agree with.  But I’m also pretty sure that we aren’t the only family, lost and uncertain and struggling, that Char helped.

Right now there’s justifiable concern about Christian radio people. We’re skeptical about Christian talk show hosts. And I understand. When you have to fill the air, it’s easy to say too much.

But today I want to point out one of those people who figured out how to quietly live out her words.

Thanks Char.

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Video version of this post: Char and the diapers

When I mess up, I want to tell everyone. I want to be the worst person in the world.

Why?

Because if I’m the worst person in the world, there’s a particular status in that. Even in the awfulness, there is notoriety.

I’ve been thinking about that temptation today, the idea of the broadcast confession, and I remembered a Don Miller caution about sharing goals. He quoted Derek Sivers who said

“People who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen. Announcing your plans to others satisfies your self-identity just enough that you’re less motivated to do the hard work needed.”

For goal-setting, this means that often, the buzz we get from people being impressed with our goals means that we never get around to the goal. The hard work isn’t needed because we got affirmation.

The more I think about it, I wonder if that happens with large confessions sometimes. When we confess to the whole world, we know that there are people who will affirm us:  ”everyone fails.” It feels, if not good, then at least affirming. However, when we talk specifically and only to the person(s) we sinned against, whether God, a spouse, a friend, a colleague (or all of the above), we’re not going to get the empty affirmation. We may get forgiveness, but we know that we are going to have to rebuild trust, rebuild relationship. That’s the really hard part.

That rebuilding part is what’s called repentance. Repenting is turning around. It’s going the other way. It walking toward instead of away from. It’s a thousand steps back. If confession is a quick release of pressure, repentance is a gradual, often painful, construction process.

But here’s the deal. When we start with confession, especially to God, those repentance steps aren’t alone.

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For one poetic reflection on this process, here are David’s words after a murderous affair: Psalm 51.

And here’s a video version of this post: The hard work of repenting

I often have conversations with people who say “but God never…”

Sometimes it is, “I have tried talking to God, a lot, but God never answers.”

Or “But God never says anything.”

Or “but God never lets me know what to do.”

Or “but God never healed my mom/dad/relationship/child/heart/family/church.”

I hesitate to talk about this kind of conversation in a public setting like you and you and I have here at 300wordsaday.com. Any time I start to talk about prayer and answers to prayer, I am fully aware that some of you, maybe all of us, have examples of “but God never.”

For a minute, while we’re drinking this cup of coffee, let’s look at some things that might be getting in the way. Notice that I say might.

1. When you are talking to God, do you ever stop talking and listen? I’m sure you do. But some days there is a big difference between talking to and talking with. Talking with means listening to the other person.

2. When you say “but God never”, do you actually mean “but God never does what I want him to do” or even, “but God didn’t do what I wanted him to do that last time I asked”? Because those are three different statements. The first means never. The second means that we’re trying to run everything and God apparently doesn’t agree. The third means that we’re dealing with a bunch of hurt around something that happened.

We’ll talk more about some more things in the future. For now, though, if you haven’t stopped to listen, try it. Ask God for wisdom, for example, as James says, and then listen. And if you are trying to run the universe, stop. And if you hurt, I’ll talk to God for you for a bit.

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Here’s a video version of this post: But God never