You are sitting in a room. Solitaire is on the screen in front of you. You are clicking on the cards, getting the numbers lined up, getting the board cleaned off. Except it you have some cards left. So you try again.
Someone walks into the room. The person stands for a moment. You keep playing. The person says your name.
You hear it, sort of. You think about replying but the intention disappears as you see that the 3 will go on the 4. And the 6 will go on the 7.
You realize that the person walked out of the room. And you try to decide whether to go looking for them, knowing that they wanted you, or you get upset that they didn’t do more to interrupt your game of solitaire. Or you move the 10 onto the jack.
I sit in that room all the time.
I’m working on following Jesus better.
I don’t mean that I’m trying to prove how good I am as a follower. I don’t mean that I’m trying to measure up somehow. I don’t mean that I’m trying to be a better Christian (or even a good Christian man). I don’t mean that I’m terrified that I’ll be judged or that I want to look more spiritual.I don’t mean that I’m trying to earn anything from God.
I simply mean that I am paying attention to paying attention. I am taking steps to take steps. I am listening to what I am hearing.
It means, of course, that I am looking for the places where Jesus has asked us to do things. And that I’m deciding that request applies to me. And I’m asking for help.
It’s hard. Paying attention means learning how to pay attention.
But I don’t want to keep playing solitaire.
I’ve added a new page to this site: 300wordsaday guides. Go there to find the ebook version of the posts on the first four chapters of Matthew.