One of the things about following Jesus is that you can’t skip.
I can, of course. I can jump wherever I want. I can ignore whatever I want. I can make my own choices, however I want.
Just like skipping Matthew 5:31-32. If you are coming here every day, you may have noticed that I went from murder to adultery to oaths. I skipped divorce.
It’s uncomfortable, that passage. No one is in favor of murder. No one is in favor of adultery. No one cares about oaths. And really, in general, no one is in favor of divorce. But divorce is really hard for us.
What do we say, after all? We feed like we are judging family and friends if we talk about it in terms of right and wrong. And yet Jesus here puts strict parameters on divorce.
Except Jesus didn’t skip the subject.
In keeping with the contrasts (You have heard it said, I say to you), he first states the technically acceptable standard for obedience and then sets his standard.
And it is a difficult standard.
And here is what I do.
When someone asks me what I think about difficult texts, challenging words from Jesus, I walk around my desk and I sit next to them and I put myself on the same side of the words as they are. I want it to be clear that the Scripture is speaking to both of us.
And I say, “here’s what it says. Let’s talk about why you are wondering.”
If someone is wondering to judge, that’s wrong.
If someone is wondering for permission to do what they know is wrong, then that’s wrong.
But if someone is wondering to understand, then we talk about options.
The opposite of skipping isn’t Bible thumping. It’s Bible listening.
300 words a day 
Rick Dugan
Thanks for this thoughtful post, Jon. As a divorced pastor, I’ve experienced the complexities of this subject first hand. Often times the church takes one of two extremes: acting like its none of their business or permanently relegating divorced people to the margins of the church community. Both are wrong. Fortunately, God provided me with many godly and gracious people who were committed to applying biblical truth to my situation because they knew that biblical truth would ultimately lead to restoration and healing.
I find it interesting that we would never consider applying Jesus’ teaching before and after the passage on divorce literally, and yet we often demand a literal reading of the divorce verses. When is he using hyperbole and when isn’t he? What is his point here? It’s a big discussion, but I appreciate you keeping people central to the conversation.
Blessings,
Rick
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Amy VanHuisen
Those questions–reasons for asking about difficult passages (or sometimes the not-so-difficult ones)–are ones I will keep in mind. And I really like the idea of physically getting on the same side of the words as the questioner.
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Jon Swanson
Rick, I almost did skip it, taking the first of your two options. I procrastinated. I’m close to people who have wrestled through both divorcing and responding to divorce.
And so I thank you for your gracious response from someone I deeply respect.
And Amy, one of the questions often in the back of my mind when people ask me questions is, “do you want to learn or do you want to argue?”
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