There was a man in front of me at church on Sunday. The long blond hair on his shoulder wasn’t his wife’s. But I wasn’t worried. It was her wig’s. They have spent the year learning about chemo and radiation.
The woman with her hands in the air, singing isn’t with her husband. It’s because some complications from his stroke several years ago have him back in a nursing home on this Sunday. They aren’t fifty yet.
The family near the front who are singing loudly are doing so without one of their sons. He never comes to church with them anymore. He died a few years back.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t know the stories people live in. It would make it easier on Sundays before Thanksgiving if I didn’t know about the struggles of the people around me, the family members lost this year, the dreams shattered. I would rather not have to think about how hard it must be for some of those people to sing, “How great is our God.”
And yet, on this morning, that is exactly what those people are saying. Some sing crying. Some sing smiling. But each of those people whispers a life from Psalm 107, which starts
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.
I know more stories in this room, of course, stories that have, as of right now, neither happy endings nor hope. There are people here that are wondering where God is, exactly. They are wondering whether God is.
I understand.
But then I look at tear-stained singers. And see hope.
300 words a day 
Rich Dixon
Corrie ten Boom said, “We say ‘God is good’ when it doesn’t rain on our picnic. But God was still good when I watched my sister Betsie die in a concentration camp.”
We’re instructed to give thanks IN all circumstances, not FOR all circumstances. The difference between IN and FOR matters.
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Stephanie Hartman
Thank you again for your words. Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year. My niece was murdered back in Jan. Yet I boast, “My God is good ALL the time!” Yes, there will be tears. Yes, there is questioning. Yes, there is pain. Yet, there is hope. And we know how the story ends — God wins! Amen!
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Jon Swanson
Stephanie – Thank you.
I can’t add a thing.
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reallypeeved
So then, what do we do to survive when we see so little of God’s love in our circumstances? Suffer? God appears to have placed things in motion and stands idle waiting for “his” plans for us to work themselves out, such pain in not always tolerable by mere humans. Although Paul says we will not be challenged beyond what we can handle, many lose faith and sometimes give up. Where is God’s active love then?
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Jon Swanson
and that is a significant question.
It is possible to make a case theologically, but your comment suggest that case is not comforting.
The experience of my friends suggests that though there is the appearance of standing idly by, that God is, in fact, engaged. Sometimes they point to their own behavior having caused the pain. One friend, who lost his legs in a car accident, would not have met his wife, his God, his life without losing them. And he is aware that being drunk at the moment of the crash was his choice. Other friends, who lost a child suddenly, can’t point to a “that’s why”, but are going with trust.
In my own case, in the death of our child, I held onto hope. I knew that genetic problems happen. I acknowledged that they could happen to us. I would have loved to have her live. Dying in my arms hurt. I still can feel it 19 years later. But in the middle of it I had a moment of peace that made no sense.
And that provided the lens I use now, one that acknowledges that pain is, that God is, that the latter allows the former, that I can’t do any better at being God, and that God speaks, at least in my life, at just the right time.
Doesn’t give you a simple satisfactory answer, I know. Because in the middle of not seeing the end, pat answers don’t work.
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Rich Dixon
To reallypeeved:
I’ve never felt that God was standing idle, but there surely have been times when I couldn’t see what He was doing. In the ER after my accident when they told me I was paralyzed, when my family left me–I wanted Him to do something.
I now see that He was, but that sort of answer isn’t very helpful when you’re in the middle of the storm. I won’t try to offer simplistic answers to such painful questions–I have faith, and sometimes that’s all I have. Enough faith for today.
As to those who give up, that’s why we’re here. I think it’s our task to be “Jesus in a t-shirt and blue jeans” for those who are hurting and lost and at the end of their rope.
Some of the most bizarre, cruel things I’ve heard came from well-meaning Christians who wanted to provide a nice, simple explanation for a cruel accident. Sometimes we just gotta say “I don’t know” and be willing to walk the path with someone who’s in pain.
Someone smarter than I am will have to explain how this all works and why God operates as He does. I only know I’ve experienced His love and grace in very real and powerful ways.
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Stephanie Hartman
really peeved — I have asked all those things… time and time again! All I can say is that through my anger and pain, God is there. No where in the Bible does it say that God won’t give us more then we can handle — so we alone do not have to handle things. The Lord has placed people in my life so I don’t have to feel alone. I have no answers, just my own story. Right now I’m questioning the whys of evil and suffering. I don’t know your story so I can’t say that I know how you feel. However, please don’t feel alone! If you need to hear someone else’s words of crying out, I encourage you to read my blog (www.brightmomentsduringdarktimes.blogspot.com) It’s about my faith journey from the day my niece was murdered until today. It sucks quesitoning and being angry! I will pray that you too will find joy and hope.
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Tony Cruz
This was my family’s first Thanksgiving without my brother Adam. He passed away, at the age of 37, with now warning. Your words brought me comfort this morning and helped me realize we are not alone. Thank you.
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