It is, as you already know, the last day of February. I thought about goals, about progress. I have a couple of exciting projects in the works. I am growing and learning. (I should be shrinking and learning, but that’s a different goal.)

I wondered, however, as I was thinking, “How much time have I wasted on worry so far this year?”

Worry, for me, translates into paralysis. It has a real cost. Paralysis isn’t rest. In fact, the thought-spinning cycles of paralysis deplete rather than supply rest. They suck dry cycles that could be used for worthwhile reflection.

And when I think back over the things that I have been concerned about, I realized that none of the adverse things happened. Not one.

I was reading some words from David this morning.  In Psalm 86, he talks to God about needing help. David’s under pressure and  he asks God for answers, for protection, for mercy, for joy. He talks about God’s power.  And then he gets a bit more specific.

Teach me your way, LORD,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

An undivided heart.  Do you know what that feels like? A heart that pursues my good and your good and popularity at the same time? A heart that wants to do right things and wants to be comfortable and doesn’t care about working hard and wants to keep everyone happy all at the same time? A heart that worries about many things.

What’s funny is that David wants an undivided heart so he can fear God’s name. Unless David is a masochist, that fear isn’t being afraid. David wants a united heart so he can throw himself wholeheartedly into following.

I agree with David.  Mostly any way.