Saturday morning, I pushed the button on our modem. The house was plunged into a state of Internet disconnect. It remained that way for five hours.

With the exception of power failures, that’s the longest single stretch the interior of our house has been protected from Internet rays for years. Or, it’s the longest single stretch our house has been cut off from the loving warmth of the Internet sun.

I was working on a sermon. I needed to follow some research threads. And I knew that I needed to make it hard to connect. I’m not proud of that. I’m not ashamed. I’m just acknowledging that I’ve built up habits of checking. I needed to interrupt those habits.

I also know that often, when I have a question in research, I say “study break” and check email. Or something. And I lose the intensity of the search for the question.

I had a great morning. The books strewn across two desks and the floor showed evidence. I saw some connections that were new to me and, from what I heard, to others as well.

And I wrestled a little with an awareness that sometimes it’s healthy to dig for answers rather than looking for affirmation. Sometimes study needs space to spread unabated. Sometimes you need to not matter to me so much. And me to you.

Why bother to tell you this? In a blog that mostly uses the Bible to talk about following Jesus? Because I keep reading words like prepare and and choose and keep. I keep seeing ‘ing’ words that suggest perseverance and process.

And sometimes, creating space is an important part of those words. And focus. And not distracting myself.

I’m far from telling you to push that button. Not til it’s habit for me.