1. Thank someone. I mean actually personalize the thank you. Otherwise we merely have a vague sensation of being generally grateful – which is all about us.

2. Tell someone that gave you a gift how it was used. Last year, someone gave me fun-size m&m packages. I told her how they had encouraged several other people. When someone gives us a food gift card, I tell them how it helped our family have time together.

3. Forget performing. We worry about whether we are thankful enough, whether we are using the right words, whether we are quick enough. For people who gave without expectations, quit worrying about getting it right. Just thank them.

4. Be brief. (Don’t say, “I didn’t deserve this and you didn’t have to.” Just say thanks.)

5. Thank them in a way that shows you know them. Not everyone likes notes or flowers or objects. Some people actually like a hug. Or a look in the eyes. Or a 🙂

6. Sometimes thanks can be for presence more than presents. Who has spent time being patient with you this year? Who sat and listened to you? Who drove 400 miles and gave up a day of work to come to your dad’s funeral?

7. Understanding of a gift sometimes comes after the thank you.  So say thank you even if you don’t understand. And when you do understand, be willing to thank someone again. “You know how you did that for me 10 years ago? I finally understand. Thank you.”

8. Get out of the center of the universe. We often aren’t grateful because we are worried about the next event or what isn’t finished yet or because we don’t deserve what they did or because we have to ____. All of that is arrogance. We think we are more important (or more unimportant) than anyone else.

Thanks.