Grab a generic black bird. Take a one-inch wide paint brush and a small bottle of white paint. Paint one white stripe across its back, about two inches from the end of the tail. Open a pint can of red paint, closer to crimson than maroon. Wrap some masking tape around the bird’s beak. Dip the bird head first in the red paint, to the line where it twists its neck. Quickly wipe its eyes. Set it up on a tree branch to dry.

Grab another generic black bird. Look for one a little smaller, a little rounder than the first. Take a small bowl, the kind you use for custard. Pour some of the white paint into the bowl. Dip the bird, feet first, into the paint. Like dipping molasses cookie balls into the sugar. Set it on the ground to dry.

Grab another generic black bird. Take another one-inch wide paint brush and the red paint. Dip the brush into the paint. Tickle the bird, under the wing. When the wing opens a bit, right where it attaches to the body, paint a small red patch. Put it on a cattail to dry.

Grab another generic black bird. Mix a little blue paint into the red paint. Add some black paint. Try for a midnight purple. Mask the beak of the bird. Dip the head of the bird into the paint, up to its shoulders. Put it anywhere to dry.

Grab another generic black bird, a little smaller than the last one. Using the rest of the midnight purple paint, pour it over the whole bird. Put it on a birdhouse next to a big open field with lots of mosquitos.

The woodpecker, junko, red-wing blackbird, grackle and martin will be grateful to their Creator for creative differences.