When Jesus started making disciples, he invited two of the first five to the place he was staying. They spent a long time talking. And then they spent three years on the road together. When Aquila and Priscilla wanted to help Apollos learn what following Jesus really meant, they invited him home. When Paul was wrapping up his final instructions to Timothy, he didn’t just say “remember what I said”. Instead, he said, “you know everything about me.” And listed the kinds of things that Timothy knew: his way of life, his purpose, his faith, his love, his suffering. And in that context talked about the Bible as if they had walked through it before, as if it was something that Timothy had seen in Paul’s life as well as his words.
There is a deep relational component to helping people grow. The model we see is that as our lives are being changed by our relationship with Jesus, we allow others to see that process of imperfect development. And that opening of life and home and Facebook activity is part of the evidence of a relationship.
I’m uncomfortable with this, with the day-to-day intimacy that these stories reflect in the relationship between teacher and disciple. I would rather be able to say “let me give you the answers. Now go away.” But that approach develops people who think that following Jesus is more about telling than living. And that’s not how Jesus works.
I find it impossible any more to write scripts, to say “Here are the 8 things that you must do to be more like Jesus.” I’m coming around to thinking it’s more effective to say, “Let’s take a walk. Here are some things I’m learning.”
And I should probably invite you over. But we’re still working on that.
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Posts about the stories above:
- The story of the first 5 disciples: John 1:35-51 (video)
- The story of Aquila, Priscilla and Apollos
- Paul and Timothy in “Being a Model”
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Joanna Paterson (@joannapaterson)
The way you write does already have a relational and invitational quality – I have the feeling that we’re sitting quietly round a table of an evening, gently talking, or not talking. It’s why I’m still here reading and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
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Jon Swanson
Joanna, the idea of sitting at a table, with a coffee or more, not talking, is a delight. It makes me think of one such conversation in a room full of voices, sitting at the edge, thinking.
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Frank Reed
I always fall back on the fact that I don’t score well in hospitality with spiritual gifts so I don’t need to get into the messy stuff of a real relationship. Then I see it’s just me not facing what God wants from yet again.
I am seeing that if I don’t like something it is likely to be the very thing I need to be doing the most. God doesn’t want be to be uncomfortable but He also doesn’t want to see me comfortable in a bad or unproductive place.
Sometimes this all feels very tiring lime right now. It’s during these times I think He is asking me to work harder but even more importantly, closer to Him.
Sounds great but it’s the doing that gets me.
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cjhinx
Yes, and it’s in the doing that comes the learning, and in the learning comes growth.
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Jon Swanson
ah, but my dear friend Frank. The call is not to have a houseful of guests. It’s to let the small circle of 2-3 friends who are growing in relationships count. And to let them watch the struggle of getting to know you. And to be willing to acknowledge that those 2-3 are accepting.
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cjhinx
This makes me anxious as well. I am always afraid that in intimacy people see your weaknesses. But I guess as we become aware of our weaknesses and turn to Christ for strength and forgiveness, it might turn out to be a greater blessing to someone else testifying that God can use imperfect people to glorify himself. What a blessing that is!
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Jon Swanson
I’m beginning slowly to understand that the work I do to cover my weaknesses could well be spent on living and growing. Instead of worrying so much. But that’s five decades of beginning to understand.
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josephruizjr
Wow, I feel conviction on several levels. Perhaps this kind of intimacy is what made the Acts 2 community so fruitful; it changed the community. I can relate to Frank, this is an area that could use significant improvement.
Thanks John
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Jon Swanson
thanks joe and frank for talking together. which is, of course, part of the point.
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