James starts his short letter with an odd statement:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

That sentence has been part of many difficult conversations for me as people have asked, “How can suffering be joy?” And I think that we jump too fast to suffering in this sentence. There are many kinds of trials.

Here’s how Eugene Peterson paraphrases those sentences:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

A project I’ve been working on for a year, part of a project I’ve been working on most of my life, was coming to an end Monday afternoon. Little obstacles kept cropping up, issues that poked at my heart and doubts. While I was working on those obstacles, unrelated conversations kept cropping up with people who didn’t know what was happening.

Sometime in the middle of Monday afternoon, the words from James came to mind. I realized that I was getting to see my reactions and my coping mechanisms with great clarity. And just like physical exams give us a snapshot of our health and preseason games tell a coach what to work on, this situation had great diagnostic value. 

I’m not going to tell you details. I will say I’m not quite to “joy” yet. I need to understand why the reactions are so strong. I need to work with God to learn better ways to remember to ask for wisdom, to not worry so much about image.

But I am grateful for the exam on Monday. Really. I am.