On Monday, I mentioned that I did a wedding ceremony over the weekend. I chose the reading from Colossians because it talks about how we live once we understand that we are chosen. And I decided to share a bit of my wedding reflection here.

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When we’re dating or when we’re trying to figure things out or when we are worried about how things might blow up, we live in tentative ways. We’re devoted to pleasing, to not making waves, to putting our best foot forward.

Sometimes that looks good, but what’s underneath it is fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of being abandoned, fear of failing.

Lots of people live with lots of fear toward God and toward other people. We’re constantly trying to measure up. And it makes our lives brittle, anxious, overbearing.

Paul says to these people in this little church in Asia minor, you are chosen. God chose you.

So live the way that people live when they know they are chosen. Not trying to measure up or prove things. That’s over. We’re chosen. So we can move from fear to confidence.

We can be:

• Compassionate, knowing that life is hard and that sharing laughter and grief and time helps.
• Kind and humble, because you don’t have to dominate to win position or power.
• Willing to be patient because we aren’t worried about missing being with someone else.
• Forgiving, because winning arguments doesn’t win us favor with God or the other person.
• Wrapped with love.
• Letting the peace of God rule in our heart, knowing that the peace of God rules in each other’s hearts.

Choosing and being chosen actually give us freedom from the chaos of all the other options and freedom to devote ourselves to each other and God.

Choices have implications, of course.

You are choosing to commit to each other and “each other” includes each other’s commitments. There are these children whose lives and loves you will take into account. You are choosing to care for each other in your respective families.

But all of these other commitments and questions and challenges will now be shaped by your commitments to each other and God.

Keep those centered.

In the words of Joshua, “as for us and our household, we will serve the LORD.”

Amen.