Here was my pitch to Rich Dixon who writes here on Wednesdays: “I’m writing a new series for advent. I’ll have the posts for each day flow out of the sermon for the week. It will make me write new things. It will let me use my writing twice.” Rich said, “I’ll have a break as we travel.”

It was a great idea.

And the idea for the series was great, too.

“Tentative Advent” is what I started calling it. How can we start rebuilding some hope and peace and joy and love around advent and Christmas and God and maybe church? After all, it’s probably not healthy to expect the worst, to not be surprised when people and things and organizations fall apart.

And yet, every shift at the hospital, that’s what I expect.

And writing hasn’t been as easy as I thought it might be.

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“Just a couple more days,” she said. “I just want him to hang on for a couple more days. There are still things for him to do.”

I stood by his ICU bed and talked with her and talked with God. Everyone in the room was aware that this part of their story wasn’t going to last long. A couple minutes seemed likely. A couple hours would be remarkable.

I left the room, wiped my eyes, walked through the rest of the day. I kept checking the list of deaths we keep. The name wasn’t on the list. Until it was, almost two days after we talked.

No wonder so many of us are tentative about plans and the future.

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No wonder Jesus says, “Watch.”

It comes from a text for this first week of Advent, from Mark. Jesus was talking about the son of God coming in the clouds. He says that no one knows when it’s going to happen.

Some of us focus on a big event, on everyone seeing God at the same time, on worrying about getting caught doing something wrong. We forget that it happens every day. Death comes. And seeing God comes.

And Jesus says, “Keep looking for me. I’ll be there.”

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A third post for the hope week of Advent