In Tuesday’s post, I talked about walking out of the hospital while a cardiac arrest came in. At the end of my shift on Tuesday, I sent Nancy a text.

“So today I’m staying for the cardiac arrest.”

The hospital was complicated for chaplains at that moment. Staff and families and uncertainty called for support. And I was available.

I provided some backup, responded to a couple situations, and then walked out. My coworkers provided excellent support in all of the difficult conversations.

I talked last week about the way we create rules more rigorous than the rules God provides. We can create expectations as powerful as rules.  

It can happen in work. Leave on time. Stay endlessly. Take all your PTO. Save PTO for emergencies. Stand up for yourself. Look out for others.

And the rules and expectations thwart the simple and hard words Jesus gives.  Loving God with all our hearts and souls and mind and strength and loving our neighbor as ourself invite self- and situational- and other- awareness.

Leaving one day and staying another day means taking a moment to look around, and within, and to God.

I was talking with a colleague the other day and said, “watching death for this long makes me aware of the nuance of dying.” It felt like an odd thing to say. But loving God and loving others are all about nuance. About listening to hearts and words and mind and responding to the actual needs more than applying a rule.

And discovering that loving God and each other is a learning process.