So what does Jesus do after scolding Peter?

He stops walking. He lets everyone catch up. He starts to explain.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”

So. A couple thoughts.

Deny yourself. Stop indulging yourself. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Stop putting yourself first. Stop taking the first piece.

Unfortunately, this has been used by people in power, people in religious power, as a teaching point, when they have been unwilling to live it themselves.

But this is also a reminder that human beings for as long as there have been human beings, have thought about ourselves.

When Jesus says this, he is not saying that we are of no value, that we should shame ourselves, or destroy ourselves or abuse our bodies. He’s not saying we should constantly apologize. But the heartbeat of community is being aware of others, deferring to others. Which starts with denying ourselves. And the starting point of trusting is to stop being God.

For each of us, in a clear minded conversation with God about following him, in a conversation where we say, “How am I using my own measures of success?”

So, deny ourselves. And then, take up your cross and follow me.

I spent a long time trying to figure out how to outline what counts as our cross.

Because that’s what we want, right? To know exactly what our suffering should be? What will count and not count, when we are doing enough, when our pain is enough to be deeper than someone else’s pai?

And then I realized that Jesus wasn’t providing a detailed list. He was providing a plan.

Step away from indulging yourself, and follow me. Stop gaining, start following.

And in following, we will save our souls.

Some of us spend a lot of time telling Jesus what we think he should do. Sometimes, I think, Jesus turns to us, like he turned to Peter, and says, “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

May we learn to have his concerns in mind.