Some connections to my writing and speaking about grief.

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There is, in the Bible in Revelation 21, an image of tears being wiped away. And no more tears or death or mourning or crying or pain.

It’s a fixture in funerals, it’s a last reading.

I hear it, from time to time, used as a reason to stop feeling bad. “Because of that then, you should feel better now.”

Imagine running up to a cluster of people standing in the hospital parking lot after the death of their mom and wife and sister and grandma and saying, “Quit your crying. God’s got this. All those tears will wiped away.”

Imagine punching that person.

We know what it’s like for people to toss a box of tissues at us in mild annoyance. “Wipe your eyes, kid, we have work to do.”

But some of us know what it’s like to have someone find a box of tissues and gently offer it to us. And when we look in the eyes of the helper, we see a hint of tears.

In both cases, our tears may stop. One for fear, one for withness.

Instead, imagine someone else on a hill, looking over Jerusalem and weeping. Imagine him on a hill outside of town listening to a friend weeping and then starting to weep himself. Imagine Jesus walking near a town and seeing a funeral procession, stopping by the bier for a moment, deeply moved, and then healing the man.

What if that’s the person who is wiping those tears, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief?

Read more of this at What if it’s what we are made to do?

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And this is part of my thinking for a conference in Fort Wayne I’m privileged to speak with. It’s the Conference on Ministry with the Aging and our theme this year is “Renewing the Heart: Compassionate Care to the Grieving and Lonely.”

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At my newsletter for people who want to be helpful to people in hard times, “Finding Words in Hard Times” I’ve been writing about grief memoirs.

In “On writing about (and writing out) our grief: Part one“, I talk about the kinds of writing on grief AND share the reflections of my friend, Aaron Charles, about the first year after his dad’s sudden death.

In “On writing about (and writing out) our grief, 2: On memoir”, I have a list of grief memoirs and ways to understand how they are helpful.

Please read and share with people who would find these helpful.