Sometimes as chaplains we have to say tough things.

Perhaps the toughest thing for many families is this:

“Hallmark families don’t exist in the real world.“

You know, families where the story turns out perfect. If there is tension, a card makes it all better. If there are siblings, they may be cranky on the outside, but down deep, they are always together. If there is death, everyone is reconciled and forgiven.

I walk into so many rooms, I have so many conversations, where Hallmark writers would throw their hands in the air and walk away.

And yet, that’s how families are. There are different beliefs, different experiences, different values. No family is happy all the time, laughing all the time, painfree all the time.

And we think, perhaps, that Jesus is better than Hallmark. Having Jesus around will make every family picture perfect.

That belief has caused amazing amounts of pain.

Be nice. We’re in church.
Be happy. We’re in church.
We don’t have any problems, we’re in church.

Pretending to be perfect causes unreal expectations and unresolved pain.

Jesus himself, in the reading this morning, makes it clear that his presence in human relationships doesn’t magically make them perfect.

In the family Jesus describes, there is generational conflict. The daughter and the son and his wife are in a different place spiritually than the parents. For all we know, he was talking about the families in front of him.

Peter and Andrew were brothers, James and John were brothers. They had left their family businesses of fishing to follow Jesus. Peter left his wife and mother-in-law back in Capernaum. I’m guessing that there were family tensions related to following Jesus.

Jesus talks elsewhere about loving God so much it looks like you hate your family. He talks elsewhere about being persecuted for following him.  So there will be tensions that happen when someone chooses to live their life following Jesus.

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reflecting on Luke 12:49-56