I’ve spent much of my time as a chaplain being afraid.

“Don’t mess up” was what I told myself as I walked into the building.

Because, of course, there are implications of getting things wrong. If the paperwork is filled out wrong, a body could go to the wrong funeral home. If you read the room wrong when you walk in to offer comfort, you could make the worst day of someone’s life even worse. If you get in the way. If you respond too slowly. If you forget names. If you forget processes.

And. There is the pressure of disappointing God.

(I’m not going to unpack that right now, but I need to name it.)

It felt, to me, like pressure. Even though I knew I could do the paperwork right, that I can read rooms, that I have done this for years. There is always the possibility that this time I won’t get it right.

What other people saw was opportunity.

This is an opportunity, on the worst day of someone’s life, to be helpful. This is an opportunity to find family members when there are none listed. This is an opportunity to be present, to be quiet, to speak the name of an infant, still warm, when no one else representing God is present.

I’m wrestling these days with navigating pressure and opportunity.

I have a feeling that focusing on the opportunity to be helpful is more healthy for everyone than leaning into the pressure to not mess up. I also have a feeling that I’m not alone in living with the pressure.

So. Let’s do what we have the opportunity to do with gratitude and hope.