Dear Jesus:

This has to stop  We can’t keep up.

We finally found you in the synagogue. of all places. We slid in the back. It was pretty crowded (squeezing 5000 people into a building is harder than spreading out on a hillside) but we managed. We got there just in time for the reading about manna, one of our favorite Moses-stories.

It made us think about you feeding us the other day. Moses got bread from heaven. You looked up at heaven and then gave us bread. It seems almost a miracle.

So we simply asked you for a miracle like Moses’. I mean, we were fed with manna for forty years. You gave us one day. Is it too much to ask that you give us a second?

But you had to get all spiritual, talking about living bread and you being bread and you actually being bread.

When following you means that you give us lunch, that sounds really good. When following you means that you are lunch, that’s creepy.

We’re guessing that we aren’t the only ones who will find this image somewhat off-putting. The leaders, the children, it just isn’t right.

Our advice? Stay popular. Go for what people are comfortable with. Stick with the actual bread. Plant a kid with a bag of food in every crown. You won’t go wrong.

And just let go of this Father in heaven image. It’s too controversial.  The next thing you know, you’ll be talking about asking him for our daily bread, and then suggesting that’s you.

We’re sorry we were grumbling so much today. We were hungry. We had spent so much time looking for you. And then, you are so, so, gross.

Clean up the act a bit,  Jesus, please.

Just saying.

Cordially,

The 5000 4500 1000 some friends.

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