We’re taking Hope back to college today. She’s starting her junior year. We talked the other night and I gave her some advice. Here’s some of it.
1. Create some space for listening.
We need to be intentional about shutting up. We need to be intentional about being quiet. We need to be intentional about not filling every crack in our lives with data and information. We are addicted to novelty, and that’s why we are always checking our email. We are addicted to adrenaline and that’s why we can’t slow down. We are addicted to insecurity and that’s why we can’t stop doing. And the only way we will ever hear quiet voices is if the room can be silent. And our finger can operate the button.
2. Worry less about what God wants you to do and more about getting to know God.
Lots of followers of Jesus and people who are wondering about following look for the checklist of what counts. We need to know the expectations so we can run ahead and take care of them. We don’t understand that having that list means that we don’t need Jesus. We can check off the items and have our lives to ourselves.
But a relationship isn’t about a checklist. It’s about conversation about the list. And about values. And about going to the playground.
And relationships develop best when there is space to listen.
3. Have someone disciple you.
I almost said mentor. But mentoring says “while I’m being successful, I’ll help a couple other people be successful too.” Discipling says “I’m still figuring out what doing what Jesus said looks like in my life. And I’ve got questions. But I trust him. So walk with me. Hear my prayer. Listen to my confessions. I’ll explain the best I can. ”
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The video version:
Frank Reed
Wow, Jon. My wife’s name is Hope and while she isn’t going off to college, when we talked about your post she felt as if you were talking to her. And, while my name ISN’T Hope, it felt like you were talking to me as well.
All I can ask you to do is to continue to put these thoughts out here for people like us. It’s incredibly motivating and it helps us all see beyond where we are currently which is so very important.
To wrap up, your explanation of the difference between discipling and mentoring couldn’t have been more on point.
Thanks again.
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Jon Swanson
Thanks Frank and Hope. And thanks for allowing me to invade your coffee time. That’s a very challenging thought.
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Frank Reed
Oh, and how incredibly selfish of me. We wish Hope the best for her junior year!
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Rich Dixon
Hope is many things. At least two of them:
Hope is necessary to sustain life.
Hope is a very fortunate young woman to have a dad who shares this kind of wisdom.
Blessings to her as she steps out into a new adventure.
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Jon Swanson
she just has a very grateful dad. Thanks Rich
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Joanna Paterson
Seems like good advice for more than just Hope Jon, thank you.
I like the point about discipleship in particular – a bit of a follow up (for me at any rate) to the piece you wrote on friends and pastors.
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Jon Swanson
Thanks Joanna for making that link. I need to do a little more exploring down that road I think.
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AJ Leon
Hey, bud, just out of curiosity, what do you mean by #1. Like literally breaking x number of hours away for just sitting quitely? Very interesting to me. Would love to hear you thoughts. 🙂
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Jon Swanson
well, thanks. Now I have tomorrow’s post.
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Keith C
I need to be more intentional about creating space of listening. I appreciate the encouragement to remember that the key is attention.
I come from a fairly legalistic religious tradition and its taken me decades to discover what it means to “get to know God”. Seeking His heart, His eyes, His ways.
I echo Frank’s comment about your distinction between mentoring and discipleship. I also have had to learn the difference between student and disciple. (One is concerned with knowing what His master knows and the latter is concerned with becoming His master).
I needed all 3 of these today and most everyday. I treasure your insights. Thanks for writing Jon.
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