When I don’t know what to ask.

A friend and I were praying. We meet almost every week. We talk about our lives. And we pray for each other.

I said, “You know about the pain. You know about the grief.” and I listed a couple more things that were happening in the life of my friend.

And then I said, “I have no idea what to ask you to do.”

Anything that I could think of to ask for…comfort, wisdom, peace…felt pretty inadequate and pretty redundant. I mean, God already knows when those things are needed, whether we think that he provides them or not.

So I said “I don’t know what to ask for. But I trust that You will figure out what to do.” And then I laughed and said, “But You don’t have to figure it out, You know what to do. So I trust You.”

I don’t often actually lay a situation in front of God and say, “I don’t know what to do.” I usually have suggestions or proposals. And I often don’t simply say “I trust you.”

But sometimes, like now when I’m writing this post, when I’ve been in meetings all day (with some of you), when my ability to be creative is exhausted, when my friend is 5 time zones away with his family, preparing to be the only doctor for two weeks  in a hospital, when I have friends and family rejoicing and grieving and worrying and planning, when I am acutely aware that I can’t articulate the challenges let alone the answers, I am wanting to learn to say a very simple affirmation to God.

“I don’t even know what to ask. But I trust you.”