For the third time in the conversation I said “I would think [X] through but I don’t have the energy.” I made a note in my journal to find the energy to figure out why I was using that excuse.
Because it was an excuse. I was telling my friend that I wasn’t exploring particular ideas, or writing on particular projects, or taking time to figure out the most helpful steps, because I lacked the resource of “energy.”
The more accurate statement, I realized, was “I haven’t spent the energy (time, thinking, study, debate, hard work, deep thought, reflection) necessary to understand that subject because I’ve been devoting time and brain energy to these other projects.”
“So what are those projects,” I would have to ask myself.
- Worrying about which project to do next.
- Wondering what people are thinking about the last post I wrote.
- Looking for the keys I don’t put in the same place.
- Writing the first paragraph of five different projects.
- Spending 12 hours at work conversing about life and health and sickness and death.
- Recovering from spending 12 hours in heart-stretching conversations.
- Doing the work of daily living.
In other words, I’m using some of my energy for exactly the right things (work conversations, writing to you), some for exactly the wrong things (worry, disorder), and some is open for discussion.
At this point, you may be looking for a simple Bible verse that answers this energy drain. I was. And I read some words to Timothy: “Take pains with these things, be absorbed in them, so your progress will be evident to all.”
In other words, I’ll have the energy for what I take pains with, what I’m absorbed in. But I may not have much left.
So what will I choose to energize?