I’m not taking on the errors in argument, the assumptions, the discussions that are happening in the social media feeds of my friends and acquaintances. All things being equal, I could add perspective, I could encourage deeper thinking, I could challenge assumptions.

I could say, “What difference does it make to the way that you are called to live your life in relationship and love to the people who are immediately in front of you if you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that person A and person B had a business relationship a decade ago?”

But winning the argument of inviting people to think would not change the one-on-one conversations I have with people who are about to lose or have just lost the person that is half of them.

And here’s the reason I’m sorry.

Because I’m spending too much time frustrated with the errors in argument, the assumptions, and the discussions. I can be so easily derailed by a comment someone shares. And Nancy has to hear my rant.

Just because I don’t share it publicly, doesn’t mean I’m innocent of the way I feel about you.

Sometimes I hide you from my feed. Sometimes I should. Sometimes I’d love to have you and you read each other’s comments and then join me in the hospital for a couple hours.

Not necessarily to change your minds about opening up or closing down. Mostly to remind you and me that one way or another, we’ll all end up with what feels like not enough hours left to live. And wasting them on proving positions at the expense of destroying relationships seems unfortunate.

(I’m sorry Mr. Nafsinger. In sophomore English you warned me about the danger of ironic understatement. What I should have said is that proving positions at the expense of destroying relationships is evil).

So I apologize for wasting so much energy on being annoyed. And I apologize for not pursuing the Kingdom.

Peace.

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First published April 2020. Most of us have spent a lot of time being annoyed since then. Maybe you understand my need for repentance. And reflection.

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