Not long ago, I stood with a family at a cemetery after a death.

When I thought about what to say, I decided to end with some questions.

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I’d invite you to think about some questions to reflect on, some resolutions to consider.

• What do I want to walk away from here remembering that my dad was committed to?
• What do I want to walk away from here knowing that I want to do before I come back here?
• What makes me laugh most when I remember him?
• What have I realized about him that I didn’t know a month ago?

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Those are some helpful questions when we are grieving amazing people. Whether famous or familiar, whether teachers or tinkerers or tireless caregivers, we will help others (and ourselves) by considering what difference that life made, and makes, in us.

There are others, of course.

• What song did they sing that always inspired me to move?
• What was the thing they would say to us as we stand here? (The other day, a family said, “You know what he’d say right now. What he always said: Don’t panic.”)
• What’s the tradition of helping that they’d want continued?

Feel free to share your commitments.