passengersThe kid on the right graduates from high school this year. His brother will graduate next year. We meet them a decade ago this month.

Back then, a year or two into social media, I wouldn’t have guessed how much my life would be changed by relationships with internet friends. Laughter and heartbreak and inspiration and challenges.And visits from Maine to Colorado to Oklahoma and in between.

I was listening to a conversation with Bob Goff. “I talk with Bob + 10 a lot,” he said. He asks questions of the Bob he’s going to be in ten years. How did this turn out? What happened when I chose to make this or that the most important thing in my life?

It’s an interesting idea. If, for example, 69-year-old Jon is known for being fearlessly helpful, what does 59-year-old Jon need to start doing?

But I’m not sure how much of the changes in the last decade are from decisions to do. I think most of it comes from decisions to know. To know people. To choose to spend time with or not, to spend time interacting or not, to spend time present or not.

Jesus baked relationship into the way he talked about deity, about God. When talking about God, he said, talk about relationship. And when talking about that relationship, he said, connect it to all the rest of our relationships. Love God, love one another.

A decade into some relationships, I’m aware of loving well and not so well, both of God and of others. I think that maybe 69-year-old Jon might express some love for today Jon: “You aren’t as bad at this as you think you are. But if you keep working at it, loving more than worrying about it, the next decade could be pretty remarkable.”


Bob’s new book is Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World of Setbacks and Difficult People. It’s a good read.