From time to time I think about the things that I should’ve done differently, that I could’ve done differently. I’ve been known to say, “I should have been more ___, Things may have turned out better.” And then I think, “But would I have known this person, or helped shape that person?” I realize that I’m happy with the people that I have met, that I have lived my life with. I am grateful for the opportunities that I’ve had.
When I think about Jesus’ admonition to not worry, I am invited to think differently about the ways I have liked in those relationships. Jesus asked how worrying could add to our height, or add to the length of our life. In particular, he was talking about worrying about what we will eat or drink or wear. Which is reflected in how we worry about what people at work will think, what people at church will think, what people at home will think.
I am aware that my relationships with family and friends have been shaped by these kinds of worries. I’ve been distracted, I’ve hesitated, I’ve suggested restraint, I’ve fostered doubt, I’ve defended too much. Because of worry about having enough, I’ve trusted, perhaps, too little.
I’m thinking about the cost of worry, about whether it’s been a worthwhile investment. I’m thinking it has been not.
May we both have weekends of less worry, more gratitude, and more trust.