Sometimes it feels like knowing you is a good thing.
We ask you favors, we receive favors, we say we are blessed.
But we have to confess that sometimes, knowing you feels rough.
We ask you favors, we still are sick.
We give up fun, thinking it’s for you, our dad still dies.
We sing about you being a loving father, we don’t know where ours is.
We know that David was loved by you.
We see that David was hated by Saul, nearly to death over and over.
We know that Paul was literally called by you.
We see that Paul was chased, stoned, hated, condemned.
So forgive us if we seem confused when preachers tell us that you will bless us, and the blessing looks a lot like grief.
Although, perhaps, the ones who need forgiveness are the ones who have taught us to confuse your love with dollar bills, your attention with physical health, your blessing with our comfort.
Because, Jesus, as you stumbled to the cross you didn’t promise that everything would be easy.
You promised us you in this life and the life to come.
Help us not confuse your promises with ours.
Help us not confuse anything else with you.
And give us your peace.
Reflecting on 1 Samuel 17:57-18:5; 18:10-16, and 2 Corinthians 6:1-13